Always Remember- The History of Us

Matt Olson

     Last year at this time, Matt Olson and Colleen Murphy presented the Spousal/Significant Other Introduction to Firefighter Behavioral Health at the Alsip Fire Department.  This event was attended by approximately 25 couples either married, engaged, or dating.  I received nothing but good feedback from all who attended.  Matt and Colleen did an excellent job sharing their experiences from both the firefighter, and firefighter’s spouse perspectives.  I highly encourage any department who has not hosted this presentation to do so by contacting either Colleen or Matt.  It was during this informative session that I heard something that has stuck with me and heightened my situational awareness as both a firefighter and peer support team member.

     At one point during the conversation, Colleen enlightened us with some very sage advice about how we interact or communicate with each other as firefighters.  She reminded us that we have a tendency of “jagging” each other with respect to how we react to a call or series of calls.  For example, a brother or sister firefighter may become very emotional about a call that did not affect everyone else who responded to this same incident.  She further related that we might say things to this person such as: “suck it up and move on”, or “You’ve got a long way to go in your career so you better get used to it”.  It was at this time that Colleen shared her words of wisdom and advice.

Colleen Murphy

     To paraphrase Mrs. Murphy, she said: “When dealing with your peers who are emotional, you have to be very careful about what you say or how you handle the situation, because each person brings a history with them (before they were in the fire service) to the fire service.”   So what was Colleen trying to tell us?  Let’s say that your crew responded to a call involving domestic violence and one of the team members became enraged to the point that he lunged forward at the offender shouting every explicative known to mankind.  The call was carried to its conclusion, but left all involved wondering what the hell happened with FF/PM “Jones”, and asking why he was such an a*****e on that emergency scene.  Later on, Jones opened up to his crew mates that he grew up in a household where domestic violence was the norm rather than the exception to his childhood. Jones had been a member of the department for over 10 years and never, ever, shared this history with his peers.

 

 

     How often have we experienced such an event in our careers where we thought we knew everything there was to know about a peer, only to find out that he/she was carrying a dark secret that causes him/her mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual distress.  I learned a very valuable lesson that day and as a result have adopted this practice:  Anytime that I see a comrade acting out of sorts, I am going to make it a point to initiate an honest and frank conversation with the hope that a meaningful dialogue will ensue.  Just when think you have seen it all- Always remember the history of us.   Thanks, Colleen.   Until next time-

Be well and stay safe,

Tim

What are We Supposed to Do?

     The following blog post was submitted by Peer Supporter Ryan Lettieri (Rolling Meadows FD) which includes a link to a pertinent article he read, along with his commentary on the same.  Please read the article, then his post.  Ryan’s hope is that this will start an open dialogue on this subject matter where others will also share their point of view in the Peer Reporter.  Thanks, Ryan for this entry.

http://station-pride.com/2015/12/13/why-dont-more-firefighters-have-ptsd/

 

     I recently read and digested the included article on PTSD and how it affects the fire service as a whole. I began to think if our hiring process, schedule, and culture is really designed to protect us from the trauma that we see on a daily basis or if we have negotiated and pursued these subconsciously in response to the trauma we see. After all, the culture (and schedule) of the modern fire service has changed over the years and can cause an applicant to try and "fit the build" of the type of individual he or she believes the department is searching for. 

 

Polygraph exam

     Our hiring process is a long, drawn-out waiting game followed by a week or two of complete terror as a candidate has every aspect of his or her personal life, physical capacity, and mental capacity examined, exposed, and investigated. It seems as if we as a profession want to "find the ones who are resilient" because they will likely function at a high level in the face of stress, not to mention they are less likely to stumble if they have clearance from a cardiologist, a detective, some guy running a polygraph, and a shrink......right? Nope, we have individuals that can no longer handle the job because either their personal or professional life was too much. There's no shame in that, it's not these individuals' fault, after all who would want to leave a career that they put so much effort into getting in the first place?

 

     When the trial does occur, the probation period includes input and evaluation from shift personnel and supervisors who are technically evaluating the candidate on ability to complete tasks and make decisions. The more I thought about what we look for in a new employee, it seems as if we envision that individual in the situations we've struggled in: maybe a fire, an intense medical call, or something else. 

 

     We see if we can picture that person having the capacity to persevere through the struggles we've felt both physically and mentally to ensure that the new firefighter will be able to effectively cope with what he or she is about to experience. Honestly, our evaluations are somewhat irrelevant and much too basic to be completed in a year of probation. We have to know that the new firefighter "gets it" and will learn how to cope with not only what he or she sees in the people we serve, but also in us. If they're struggling, we need to recognize the signs and talk to them. If we're struggling, we have to know that the new guy or girl will point it out to us in an acceptable way: not in a judgmental way, but as a friend. We must be sensitive to the needs of the individual and assure them that they will not be punished or ridiculed for the struggle they're experiencing. We must also attempt to assist our friends in the searching they must do for the root of the issue they're experiencing. 

 

     Let's face it, we're all a bit broken, and we EXPECT our friends to help us navigate our issues. After all, at some point we all play the role of a cardiologist, a detective, some guy running a polygraph........and a shrink.

 

Ryan Lettieri

The Most Important Person in the Self Care Paradigm is . . . You

     A few weeks ago I was one of three team members who had the opportunity to present the ILFFPS concept to the Bolingbrook Fire Department, the others being Kelli Krupa and Tom Howard.  Each time I present, I improve upon the delivery of our message by changing the emphasis on important points.  What has truly added to these events is the ability to share our informational video which eloquently drives home the point of our mission. 

     I begin the post-video discussion with the topic of situational awareness, that every first responder is schooled on during each professional development class that he or she attends.  Situational awareness basically means taking in the big picture, as well as being cognizant of your surroundings at all time (visual, auditory, or olfactory senses-don’t rely on the last one).  For example, you are inside a burning structure and you start to hear the building moan and creak-possibly signifying a pending collapse.  If you do not pay attention or miss this detail, the results could be disastrous.  One may ask at this point how this relates to behavioral health in the fire service.  Let’s take a look.

 

 

     I continue the conversation by relating that one of the most difficult things for a firefighter to do is to separate their professional from personal lives.  However, it is paramount that when at the scene of a fire the individual must focus on the task at hand versus allowing the mind to drift to the big argument he/she had that morning with their spouse or significant other.  Otherwise, they may miss that the fire started in the basement of a multifamily residence, and communicated to the third floor where it is showing upon arrival to the scene.  This leads to the second point in my discussion.

     All too often we can become overwhelmed and consumed by the demands of our daily personal lives.  This in turn affects our professional performance:  A once positive and happy firefighter begins to exhibit road rage, interpersonal conflict with peers, excessive sick days, etc.  They start to make errors at emergency scenes with regard to tactical decision-making.  Does any of this sound familiar?  One thing to keep in mind is that we are human beings first, and emergency responders second.  We are not superheroes nor infallible, and can succumb to the pressures of daily life just like anybody else. So, how do we keep our head in the game amongst any personal chaos?

 

 

     I conclude the presentation by stressing to my brothers and sisters that we, the individual, are the most important person in the self-care paradigm.  If we can recognize in ourselves that our ability to do the job is being stunted by our personal or professional conflicts, then it is time to step up and ask for help.  In the face of adversity, we must have the courage to ask for and except any assistance available on the road to healing.  It is always better to take care of oneself before someone else mandates that you do so (such as your chief).  Furthermore, if our colleague does not recognize they need help, then as a brother or sister we should have an honest conversation with that person and extend a hand of friendship and healing rather than condemnation.   However, at the end of the day, self-care is a personal responsibility.

     Future posts will cover self-help strategies. As always, if anyone out there wants to share their own healing experience please email me your story so that all may benefit.  Until next time-

Stay safe,

Tim

Cancer, Now What?

The following post was submitted by ILFFPS Peer Coordinator Chuck Wehrli (Naperville, ret.) about an all too important subject matter that is often ignored by the fire service.

     Reports are that 1 in 3 firefighters will come down with some type of cancer. Not very good odds but we can change this. With all the carcinogenic materials in the homes and vehicles we fight fires in, this is a better reason to not breathe smoke. Aggressive Officers need to make sure all PPE is worn and cleaned after every fire. The old crappy- looking gear is not a badge of machismo anymore, but more of laziness and egos.

     With these fires burning hotter and faster then ever before we need to set an example for our peers and the next generation firefighters. We also need to promote better health issues like smoking and chewing. It should be banned from the firehouses. I know some of you will say bullshit, I expect that but take it from someone that has had cancer, and as of this writing going through a different one now.

     A little about my journey:  I spent 34 years in the fire service where I was raised to get in, breath smoke, maybe throw up and go out and have a cigarette. That’s the way it was with very little use of an air pack. My leaders, some that were former military, said tough it out kid- that’s the job. Now things have changed, newer materials being used that we are finding out will kill us.  Fire retardants that can cause cancer that’s supposed to protect us and one easy fix: being knowledgeable and having the balls to protect each other and send our crews home safe.

     6 years after retirement I was diagnosed with stage 4 tongue cancer. It started with a lump on the side of my neck, went to the doctor who took a blood draw for testing. While out of town teaching a class the doctors office called and said it was highly suspicious malignancy and to follow up immediately.  Damn.  I saw a Doctor at Rush Hospital in Chicago who asked to look down my throat , I thought heck the lumps on my neck. Then the shock, ”you have stage four tongue cancer but I know how to take care of it”.  I looked at my wife with disbelief. My first thought was go figure, retired enjoying teaching across the country now this.

      Number one on the list that causes this type of cancer is chewing, which I have never done.  Down the list is smoking, breathing smoke, HPV virus, heavy Bourbon drinking, (which I don’t drink), and the possible effects of my time at “Ground Zero”.

     I really didn’t care what caused it, I just wanted it gone. So after 30 radiation and 6 chemo treatments, forty staples putting my neck back together, and the use of the Divinci Knife to remove the tumor off my tongue, I started my healing. I lost 50 pounds and my saliva glands, and to this day still can’t eat the things I used to enjoy.  I was cancer free until the day before Thanksgiving of this year when I was diagnosed with skin cancer. The Doc said its from being out in the sun and it’s the easiest one to fix.  Wow good news-  I guess.

     The great news is that I’m alive and can share this story to make it better for those in the fire service and those some day joining the fire service. We need good aggressive leaders that will always fight to protect their personnel either by enforcing keeping their mask on until it’s clear, wearing a seat belt, and sending them home at the end of their shift.  Make it Safe.

 

Chuck Wehrli

FireL7@aol.com

First Responders . . . After All, We Are Only Human

    

     Last week, I responded to calls for assistance that did not have a good outcome.  The first was a cardiac arrest which we worked by the numbers, our patient fought valiantly to stay with us, but in the end he passed away.  As a lieutenant, my job is to go back into the house to make sure we left no equipment behind, as well as get additional information about the patient that I would relay to the crew who left for the hospital.  Not knowing the family dynamics, I asked a woman what her relationship to the patient was.  She replied that he was her husband of close to 5 decades, and she fell in love with him when she was a young teenager.

 

     Now I have had to ask this question numerous times in over 21 years on the job, but her response struck an emotional chord with me.  As I returned alone to the firehouse, I reflected on how this couple made an extraordinary commitment of a lifetime that was about to conclude its earthly existence.  It weakened me to know that all of us humans will face this same scenario, and it is something we can never truly prepare for.  My heart sank for this couple on that very night.

     The second call which came the following shift, involved an industrial accident.  The patient was alert and oriented x 3, and talking with us the entire time.  He did have obvious traumatic injuries that seemed more benign at the time.  Once again, we worked this call by the numbers.  As the ambulance crew arrived at the hospital, he began to decompensate.  The hospital continued our care, and searched for the answers to this puzzle.  A few hours later, the patient died.  This call kept me awake for half the night trying to make sense out of this incident.

 

 

     In the days that followed I could feel my stress rising, but not to the point of a PTSD level.  This was confirmed during my next Nutrition Response Testing appointment when I found out that my adrenals and frontal brain area were weakened and needed additional nutritional supplementation.  However, it wasn’t until Tuesday’s yoga class, where the practice involved a kriya to relieve elementary stress- that the sense of peace and calm I have become so accustomed to had returned.  It was then that I learned a most important lesson.

     Thoughts in my head echoed the words of Matt Olson when he said “As long as we are doing this job, the hits are going to keep on coming.  What’s important is how we deal with them once we become aware of the effects on our psyche”.  Sage words of advice from someone who has been there, and done that.  The lesson I learned was this: We are going to respond to calls that may result in the death of a patient as it is part of the package deal that comes along with the oath we took.  Additionally, these types of calls may bring us down, but we must reconcile the fact that we did the best we could at the time on behalf of the patient.  After that, all we can do is offer a moment of silence, prayer, or reflection (based on your own personal belief system) that grants them safe passage to wherever their final destination may be.

     Just remember, it is not wrong or a sign of weakness to express emotion over the loss of another being, as this shows that you care.  However, don’t let these types of calls stack up to the point you are overwhelmed, and unable to function on or off the job.  Reach out for help, as this is why the ILFFPS exists as an entity.  After all, we are only human.

Until next time,

Take care and stay safe,

Tim

Reach Out and Heal Someone

Kelli Krupa
 

     Last week myself, Kelli Krupa, and Paul Gardner had the privilege of delivering the ILFFPS message to firefighters in MABAS 21 which was hosted by the Chicago Ridge Fire Department.  Two weeks prior to this event, I presented the message to the firefighter candidates at the Moraine Valley Fire Academy.  My thoughts about those few days will be included in the next team newsletter, but it really got me thinking about the two main reasons we exist as a team.

    First, we exist to help other firefighters in need by providing the actual peer support.  There is not a week or two that goes by where a brother or sister contacts us for help either through the established channels or through our own departments.  As Josh said in the video, it may take an hour or less for him to receive a handful of responses from members ready and willing to help someone in need.  After all, that is why we joined this team so we can spring into action similar to the we react when the bell goes off for another EMS or fire run.  I cannot think of a more gratifying experience than to change another person’s life for the better just by listening and sharing.  Every member of this team in his or her own right has walked a green mile that enables us to empathize with peers because we have been there, and done that.  Given all this, what other role do we carry out to support our mission statement?

     In the fire service, the role of public education and prevention is one of the most important tasks we carry out on a frequent basis.  We all like to play at a fire, but in order for this to happen, a citizen has to suffer what can be devastating losses to him/her.  Public education seeks to reduce these number of incidents in order to save lives and reduce losses by instilling the situational awareness (of fire safety) in the public at large.  So what does this have to do with the ILFFPS?  Let me explain.

 

Kelli Krupa and Paul Gardner

 

     Much like fire safety education, our public outreach efforts where we spread the word of our mission and existence is there to offer hope to others who are currently hiding in the shadows of behavioral health issues. Ultimately, our goal should be to help reduce the number of firefighters leaving the job prematurely(or taking their own life) because they became too physically, mentally, and emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted by the demands imposed on them.  We must take it to the streets (so to speak) and increase our exposure with all departments across the state.  Although we have been in existence for close to two years now, there are many firefighters who still do not know we are here for them.  I spoke with a few such persons at the Chicago Ridge event.  So what can we do as team members to get noticed?

 

·         Complete the Post-training presentation to your department ASAP, and on an annual basis (or whenever you get new personnel).

·         Be willing to step up and present to other departments, because the more we get noticed, the busier we will become, and the several that present regularly will need all the help they can get.

·         Approach your local EMS system and fire academies and ask if you can present to their students/candidates.

·         Encourage others to apply for future peer support trainings, especially if you feel they will make an excellent resource for others.

·         Do what you can to assist the team without overextending yourself.

·         Participate in the Rosecrance Florian peer support experience.

 

Illinois Fire Chiefs Association Annual Symposium

 

     This is not an all-inclusive list, so do not hesitate to contact your peer coordinator and offer other innovative ways we can get our presence felt in all firehouses across Illinois and beyond.  The most important part of the public outreach is that you get the chance to tell your story over and over again.  I said this before, but it is bears repeating: The more you tell your story, the easier it becomes.  Therefore, reach out and heal someone- because that someone you may be healing is you.  Until next time,

 

Be well and stay safe,

Tim

Back To Work

In the latest in a continuing series of posts, Tom Howard tells us that he was returned to duty after recent cardiac issues. Although he is "cleared" physically, thoughts still tumble around in his head  as to what's next.

     If you haven’t been following, I had developed what I called a “feeling” in my chest at a recent fire. In all honesty was chest pressure. I hesitate to call it that, after all I’m 49 not 69. Anyway, its official, I have returned to work full duty with no restrictions. That’s what the paper from the doctor says, with the added bonus from the city doctor that it was not duty related. According to my cardiologist when I am under a severe physical load the arteries around my heart go into a spasm causing the pressure and the feeling of fatigue. I cannot duplicate this on a stress test as it’s just not stressful enough. I think it is important for us to really understand that the stress levels we encounter cannot be duplicated outside of doing what each of us, as firefighters, are prepared to do every day.

     While the paper from the doctors may say no physical restrictions, I can assure you there are now some major mental restrictions. I, as a man of faith, will be the first to raise my hand to admit my broken humanity.  Yet the fact is, deep in the recesses of my brain I still felt that when I put on my uniform and wrapped myself in my black coat with the reflective strip, I was still invincible. I have spent the last couple weeks trying to wrap myself around where I now find myself. Now to be clear I don’t feel like I’m going to die, and I certainly didn’t have a near death experience.

     I was explaining how I was trying to wrap my head around what I thinking through all of this to my wife the other day. I told her that I feel as though I bought a house with a balloon payment and the balloon came sooner than I expected. I have known ever sense I began in the fire service in the eighties, that one day the constant abuse, both mental and physical, would take its toll. I call it my “windshield wiper theory.” A wiper is made to last 100,000 wipes, so if you leave them on after the rain stopped you are wasting them and they will quit working before expected. This is why at 46 years old when the orthopedic doctor looks at my MRI and says, “You have the back of a 65 year old man,” I’m not surprised. I have had my life on fast for longer than normal so the payments are starting to come due.

     I had mentioned previously that I would now describe myself as broken, or weak stock and yet I now have paperwork that says I am fit for duty. Unfortunately they can’t see past the physical. They tell me to take a daily pill to keep my arteries from going into a spasm but no one has anything or thought of offering anything for my growing anxiety of my looming balloon payment. As I put my gear on my rig yesterday I couldn’t help but wonder if I can still do this and how much longer. What will break next? What effect will taking the medication have long term?

    Honestly one of my biggest disappointments has come from the same people that only a few months ago shook my hand, gave me gift card and thanked me for my dedicated years of service. Now though, even with no history of heart decease in my family and not yet at the 50- year mark, I have a cardiac issue that of course is not duty related. This is not a surprise but it is a disappointment. Never the less I would not trade my years of serving back. I cannot imagine having spent my years doing anything rather than “living the dream.”

     Some of this might sound maybe a little heavy and I guess it is. Before I get too wrapped up in what can be overwhelming details that can drag me down I like to keep it all in perspective. I often think about the book of Matthew and Jesus is talking to the disciples and says, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” I like to think that as fireman, how much more we offer ourselves for complete strangers. Remember none of us are alone. We all carry a heavy burden in one way or another. Reach out, ask for help, it’s there. If we can lay our lives down, one call at a time, how much more can we be there for our friends and brothers. IFFPS!