In the Heat of the Moment, How Do You Maintain Balance?

The fire service is a dynamic entity where you find that no two days are exactly alike and can be seemingly unpredictable.  As members, we are called upon at a moment’s notice to respond to situations that can place our lives in jeopardy: structure fires, auto accidents, confined space and hazmat incidents, EMS calls, water rescues, and so on.  Anyone reading this post would make the argument that our profession contributes to a heightened stress response, which is made more complex by the fact that we are asked to live with the same group for extended periods of time (sometimes we get along . . . sometimes we don’t).  Given all this, how do you maintain balance?

    The adrenaline junkie in all of us says its okay to be ramped up for a call as we will perform better (or win that disagreement with a co-worker).  However, this rush can rob us of situational awareness (seeing the big picture), and can create tunnel vision (narrow focus). So, what can we do to prevent such a consequence from occurring?

     Since I began healing from the wounds of post-traumatic stress over sixteen months ago, I added an effective technique to my tool box that has helped me to harness the rising energy created by both calls for service and interpersonal conflicts with fellow firefighters: meditation.  Don’t worry, I am not going to go all Zen on you and talk about floating away to some transcendental plane – I am just going to discuss using the breath as a tool to calm and refocus us to what is important during critical moments of our day.  One of the best places to start the practice is right at the source of most of our daily occupational stress: the firehouse

Simple Meditation

1.      Sitting in a chair or lying in your bunk with your eyes closed, begin to focus in on the rise and fall of your abdomen/chest with each breath. 

2.      After several cycles of normal breathing, start to control the breath by inhaling to a count of five, hold for a second or two, and then exhale for a count of five. 

3.      Begin your meditation practice by starting with a length of five minutes and work your way to a goal of 45 minutes. The length of time is not as important as the quality and focus of your practice. Use the timer on your smartphone to keep you on point.

4.      Now comes the tricky part: while working with your breathing, take note of what your mind is doing.   At the very beginning you will most likely notice that it is very active and full of chatter.  More often than not, the mind wanders between what has already occurred, and future events that may or may not come to fruition.  When this happens, acknowledge the presence of these thoughts without judgment, let them go, and return to the breath as your center of focus.  You always want to dwell in the present moment because it knows no past nor future.

5.      Do not become discouraged if your mind wanders several times during your meditation practice as this is normal.  In time, the mind will become quieter and allow you to dwell within a new found peace.

6.      I practice Kundalini yoga (more on this at a later time) which incorporates meditation into this eastern art form.  When I meditate, I will listen to kundalini music which also settles my mind.  It still wanders from time to time, but I never let myself become discouraged- I just push onward and upward.

7.      Another alternative is to start with a guided (instructional meditation) where you will follow the voice of another throughout the practice.

     The ultimate goal is to make this meditative practice a part of the fabric of your daily life to be done at both the firehouse and home or wherever you see fit.  The next time you get are about to get into a heated discussion with a co-worker walk away, meditate for at least five minutes, and then see if you can return with a renewed sense of emotional clarity to begin the conversation once again. 

     The key take away from this discussion is that with dedicated practice, you will be able to invoke the parasympathetic (relaxation) response by focusing on the breath.  A calm body will equal a clear mind that opens us to wider situational awareness capabilities when we most need it- where the rubber meets the road.  If you have other ways in which you control your emotional responses, please submit send them to me at timgrutzius@gmail.com for inclusion in a future post so that others may also benefit.  Until next time . . .

Stay safe,

Tim

Observations From the Field

     The Peer Reporter is an educational forum dedicated to giving a voice to behavioral health.  One of the ways in which we as team members can meet this goal is to report back on our personal observations from the field.  Adding a human dimension to the pages of this blog is one of the best ways I know to spread the message of the ILFFPS. 

     Back in early April of this year, I wrote an entry in my own blog where I shared both a personal experience with the Champaign class, and my interpretation of what it means to be a peer supporter.  Matt posted (with my permission) this story to the original form of the ILFFPS blog.  In the months that have passed, our team has grown by two more graduating classes and another is on the way.  We have also expanded our social media presence to include a Twitter account (something suggested by the Champaign class).  We are even receiving requests from other countries who want to learn more about our organization.

     Given all these recent events, I am going to re-share with you my observations from the field as was written on April 5^th, 2015.  By breathing emotional life into our body of work, the more we will resonate with those who seek our services.  As always, I encourage you as a team member to send me what’s on your mind, because SHARING = HEALING.  I now present you with:

Peer Supporters are the Ambassadors to Behavioral Health

    “Last week, the Illinois Firefighter Peer Support Team (under the guidance of Sarah Gura and Matt Olson) held its third training program at the Illinois Fire Service Institute in Champaign. As a team member, I attended the first day of class and had the honor and privilege of sharing my story with the new group of applicants, and they with me.  Listening to a fellow firefighter’s story has always had a profound effect on me and I learn something different, or confirm what I already knew, each time I go through this experience.  Before I share my observations I want to tell you a little more about our team.

     As Program Director Matt Olson put it: “The ILFFPS was the brainchild of Sarah Gura” (a licensed professional clinical counselor) who recognized a population in the State of Illinois that was underserved in the realm of behavioral health, that being firefighters and their families.  Through the collaborative efforts of Sarah, Matt, and a core group of dedicated firefighters who were passionate about behavioral health, the ILFFPS was born.  The inaugural training was held in April of 2014, and as of this writing the third group of applicants are now team members.  This organization is a work in progress, but continues to grow in strength with each passing day.

 

     The following Mission Statement and definition of Peer Support are taken directly from our website:

Mission Statement

“To serve the fire service family by providing trained peer supporters who can give confidential, appropriate, and supportive assistance” (ILFFPS, 2015).

Peer Support Defined

“For the intents and purposes of firefighter peer support teams, peer support is defined as a service provided by an individual or group of trained firefighters who respond to firefighters in need- whether that need be a personal or professional concern.  Peer support teams will serve as a helping resource for fire service employees and their families.

Peer support also seeks to help fire service personnel reduce stress and diminish the negative emotional effects of this occupation.  Peer support specifically acknowledges the need to address mental/behavioral health needs for fire service employees and their families.  Our goal is to increase acceptance of this need through the practice of peer support” (ILFFPS, 2015).

     These statements define both the team and its mission.  If you would like more information about us please visit: http://www.ilffps.org/index.html.  That being said, peer support has a much deeper meaning to me, something I confirmed this past Monday.

 

 

     As each story was laid out on the table (so to speak), I could feel the angst as well as see the tears flow from many of my brother and sister firefighters.  Most of the personal pain was the result of bearing witness to the horrors that our profession often heaps upon us.  However, many related about hardships and traumas that were inflicted upon them long before they entered the fire service (personal history can have a direct bearing on how one will respond to or act out upon, should a future incident of a similar nature strike an emotional cord). Coupled together, it is no wonder why so many of us suffer from behavioral health issues.  As I drove home that day, I reflected on my experience and came to a sudden realization:

 

    Those of us that make up the team are bound by a common thread that the concept of peer support, or behavioral health for that matter, was not discussed in the firehouse when we began our careers. I can only speak for myself in saying that I wished it had existed when I was a rookie, as it would have saved me a whole lot of emotional and physical turmoil.  If I were a betting man (and I am not), I think most of my fellow team members would echo my sentiments.

     We all learned the hard way, and that is okay.  For it is in these trials and tribulations that we will take our lessons learned and answer the call for help with a sense of confidence and compassion that knows no bounds.  It is our fundamental duty as a member of the human race to leave the world a little better off than we found it, and as peer supporters I believe we will do just that.  It is for these reasons my friends why I say peer supporters are the ambassadors to behavioral health. Not only for the fire service, but for all humankind as well.”

 

References

Home page of the Illinois Firefighter Peer Support Team.  Retrieved from http://www.ilffps.org/index.html on April 4th, 2015.

Grutzius, T. (2015, April 5).  Peer Supporters are the Ambassadors to Behavioral Health.  Message posted to Self Care and Fitness Education blog: http://abalancedlifeselfcare.blogspot.com/2015/04/peer-supporters-are-ambassadors-to.html

The More You Tell . . . The Easier It Becomes

     Around this time last year I was in the beginning stages of healing from the wounds of post-traumatic stress that had haunted me for over 16 years.  My cry for help finally came during the second day of the inaugural Illinois Firefighter Peer Support training held in Bolingbrook in April of 2014.  On that day I made a phone call to initiate counseling with one of the best FPS therapists I know, and the rest is a living history.  Through a combination of psychotherapy, acupuncture, chiropractic, yoga, nutrition response testing, massage therapy, and reiki (Cody and I will touch on these topics as part of the ILFFPS Holistic Wellness Initiative) I have become a more centered and peaceful human being. Along the way I discovered that talking can be some of the best medicine.

     When I first began to tell me story in that training class, I could not even get two words out before I broke down crying.  I was in the state of utter confusion as to why something that I buried (or thought I did) in the deepest recess of my subconsciousness had suddenly surfaced as a volcanic eruption the size of Mount St. Helens.  One month into my healing journey, I stood before my FD peers in a staff meeting and presented the ILFFPS post-training PowerPoint.  I remember having sweaty palms as I related my story along with the struggles of the last 16 years.  I also apologized to anyone in the room that I either fought with or offended by my short fuse of a personality.  I was not trying to excuse my behavior, but rather offer an explanation.

 

 

     I walked away from that meeting with such great relief knowing that I spoke with poise, did not crack my voice, or shed one tear.  Since that day, I have shared this story several times with peers, in follow up trainings, at Rosecrance, and most recently the Illinois Fire Chief’s Annual Symposium. Each of these experiences has been different for me, but all have had the same healing effect which contributes to my more balanced existence in this world.  Given this, I am now going to share with you my story as I experienced it almost 17 ½ years ago:

    Sixteen years ago on a cold, damp, February night, my outlook on life changed forever.  The alarm sounded at 1940 hours (7:40 p.m.) for a vehicle that had exploded.  My assignment for the day was to drive the fire engine to the scene and make sure that water was put on the fire.  My heart began to race as I thought, “This is going to be a bad one.”  Upon arrival, the Lieutenant, I, and another firefighter could see a column of heavy black smoke rising (as black as the sky) from the rear of an apartment building parking lot.  The Lieutenant and other firefighter (nicknamed Ski) pulled the hose line off of the engine and disappeared behind the building into the night.  Suddenly, I heard my Lieutenant shout in a booming voice, “Get us water quick!!!” 

      Within a few minutes the fire was extinguished and the job complete, or so I thought.  The next thing I knew, an ambulance that also responded, pulled out from behind the building.  I peered through the window and saw three medics treating a charred, lifeless body that was pulled from a pickup truck that had exploded.  My Lieutenant, who was driving the ambulance, never looked my way as he sped off to the hospital.  I thought this to be odd behavior as the “Lou” always gave us additional instructions. 

     While I was picking up equipment, Ski emerged from behind the building and said in a soft voice, “It was Little Dicky.”  Tears began to stream down my face as I collapsed to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.  You see, Little Dicky, a fellow firefighter I worked with for the last three years, just committed suicide.  It was determined that he poured gasoline over himself and ignited it with a lighter.  One month prior, Little Dicky made an attempt to end his life, only this time he was successful.  After that night, I realized that we are put on this Earth for a very short time and it should be our life’s mission to leave the world a little better off than we found it. Therefore, I developed a personal mantra that I try to live by each day which is: “Every morning I wake up and realize that there are many people in this world who want to be somebody.  I, on the other hand, want to be somebody who makes a difference.”

     A big lesson that I have learned on this healing journey is that it still takes a lot of hard work to maintain balance (I continue to practice/receive my alternative healing methods), considering I still work in the environment that contributed to the erupting volcano in my mind.  In one of my many discussions with Matt Olson, he told me that in this job the hits are going to keep on coming as long as we wear the badge.   However, the greatest healing gift bestowed on me during these last 15 months is being a peer supporter.  Not only do we (as supporters) offer others hope through our lessons learned, we also heal at the same time.  After all, the more you tell your story . . . the easier it becomes.

 

 

     The Peer Reporter is an open forum for learning from each other as well as those on the World Wide Web who visit these pages.  We are all members of this fantastic team drawn here because of the experience(s) that have profoundly affected us in different ways.  I highly encourage any peer supporter or therapist to share your story as well as how being part of the ILFFPS has contributed to your healing journey.  Send all submissions to timgrutzius@gmail.com.  Until next time-

Be well and stay safe,

Tim

Dropping the D is Awesome . . . What’s Next?

The following referenced article was submitted by ILFFPS member Danielle Fary of Homer Township FPD which became the subject matter for this current posting.  Thanks, Dee.

     In the recent online article Dropping the ‘D’ in PTSD is becoming the norm in Washington (2015, June 30), Washington Post columnist Colby Itkowitz related how politicians and veteran’s advocates are changing terminology when referring to post-traumatic stress disorder, in the hope of reducing the stigma attached to this social anxiety disorder.  Itkowitz noted that during a recent speaking engagement, former President George W. Bush said that from now on he would drop the word disorder and only refer to PTSD as “Post-Traumatic Stress (PTS)”.  Likewise, when President Obama hosted a White House gathering for veterans, he never used the word disorder.  Congress also seems to be taking up this new cause.

 

     Itkowitz tells us that U.S. Representatives Peters and Heitkamp have each submitted bills to change the month of June to Post-Traumatic Stress Awareness Month.  Peters was quoted as saying that veterans would be more likely to use behavioral health services available to them as long as there was no negative stigma that the word “disorder” attaches to this diagnosis (2015, June 30).  I feel that this is a monumental step in the right direction with regard to how those with post-traumatic stress are viewed by this country . . . but- what’s next?

     All too often we see subject matter such as this become the latest buzz word or sound bite, and then it ends up on the proverbial cutting room floor of the legislature or media.  Obviously this article refers to military veterans, but can easily be extended to first responders such as ourselves.  I love the fact that our political leaders have our veteran’s best interests at heart.  However, instead of just making a terminology shift, why not make behavioral health a part of the national conversation (with legislation, more program funding, etc.).  The most recent IAFF sponsored Affiliate Leadership Training Summit opened the door to this arena.

     This year’s summit, which was held in Anaheim, California (January 27^th-29^th), included a roundtable discussion (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in the Fire Service) that was streamed live to all members via the internet.  I watched this 2 hour discussion whose panel included a psychologist, first-line supervisors, and chief officers, each of whom provided his or her own unique perspective on this subject matter. 
     I logged off from this event and took comfort in the fact that the IAFF is giving life to this very important topic.  I encourage all to visit the IAFF website and commit a couple hours of your time to watch the recorded video. While a national conversation has been started, we as peer supporters must continue to take up this call to action (at the local level) by remaining committed to the mission of the ILFFPS.  Josh recently informed us that our organization is getting attention from both the national and international firefighting community, which is a testament to the tireless efforts of all involved.  Given all this, what’s next?

     I believe that the stronger our organization grows, the more we will be viewed as a great resource for behavioral health issues in the fire service. Collectively as a group there are hundreds of years of service with connections that everyone has made along the way.  Use these connections to get your foot in the door to spread our message to fire academies, EMS programs, and IFSI/NIPTSA classes, to name a few.  If you have any area of expertise (or know someone who does) that could help move our mission forward (such as funding for behavioral health education/services), please contact your peer coordinator and offer these services. 

     Politicians are making a shift in terms, but will they support our call to action (first responders and veterans alike)?  I believe the more great work we continue to do will pay off with the opportunity to receive their much needed support.  The path to enlightenment is theirs for the taking, and it is our time in the here and now to lead the way.  Until next time . . .

Be well and stay safe,

 

Tim

References

Itkowitz, C. (2015, June 30). Dropping the ‘D’ in PTSD is becoming the norm in Washington.  The Washington Post. Retrieved from http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2015/06/30/dropping-the-d-in-ptsd-is-becoming-the-norm/

Giving a Voice to Behavioral Health

 

Greetings to whom this may present,

     Welcome to the Peer Reporter, a space dedicated to where you will find information on things concerning the Illinois Firefighter Peer Support Team (ILFFPS) and more.  My name is Tim Grutzius, one of the Peer Coordinators for the team, and I have the privilege of maintaining this conduit of information.  However, this is a team blog and all are welcome to submit anything, on any topic, related to our mission of providing both peer support and behavioral health education.  To get this conversation started, here is a list of ideas to which you may feel free to add to: 

·         Reports from the field: Personal accounts of team members and Firefighter Psychological Support (FPS) therapists on what it was like to make a difference in a firefighter or paramedic’s life (thoughts, feelings, etc.).

·         Profiles and Interviews: Interviews of team members and FPS therapists that will provide readers added depth of choice and best possible match to suit their needs.

·         General Information: On fundraisers, workshops, training opportunities, etc.

·         Illinois Holistic Wellness Initiative: This initiative is going to provide readers with the mind-body-spirit basics of self-care, as outlined in the 3^rd Edition of the IAFF-IAFC Wellness Fitness Initiative.  Our goal is to breathe life into this all important document that was first published in 1997.

·         Miscellaneous info:  Any other information (websites, blogs, Twitter feeds, Facebook pages, etc.) you wish to share with readers that you feel will help them life a more balanced existence. 

     If you are willing to contribute to this project, send all submissions to timgrutzius@gmail.com.  We are living in the here and now of something much greater than ourselves: giving a voice to behavioral health in the fire service.  Until next time-

Take care, be well, and stay safe

Tim